Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Letting Him Lead

"Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner." ~Amy Bloom

Just like a dance, God designed marriage for one person to lead and the other to follow. Although this subject stirs controversy and confusion in many, God's plan is still best! Invite the Holy Spirit to be the music that determines each step you take in your marriage. If God is leading your husband, you can trust your husband to lead you. Pray that your husband will be sensitive to the Holy Spirit's direction, and step into the heartbeat of heaven.

For a little over a year, I have been praying for my husband about some decisions he was facing. During this past season we have faced some stagnancy and needed breakthrough in different areas. I would pray to God for hours and then one day I felt God say, "Let him lead!." (Funny thing is I never expected to hear this!) Sometimes I pray fervently, but forget to listen to the answer. I realized that my stubbornness and tendency to control were part of the problem. God had been leading Adam in a different direction and I had been stepping on his feet! God placed me with an amazing Christian man who has a vision for our lives. Adam hears God's voice. I think a lot of times a wife will cry out to the Lord for a spiritual leader, but cannot recognize that she already has one. We have to be willing to follow. Now my prayer is that God will make me the wife that I need to be for Adam. It is so important to pray the will of God. Not from a place of emotion, though emotion may follow. As soon as I let him lead, we began to see breakthrough and acceleration. The most effective prayers come from a place of spiritual surrender. And the most beautiful dances flow from seamless unity.

If you have troubles letting your husband lead, ask God to show you the root of the problem. I remember watching America's Funniest Home Videos when I was little. The one that stuck out in my mind the most was this couple at the altar on their marriage day. The wife was reciting her vows line by line. The minister got to the part, "Do you promise to love, honor, and obey?" The bride's eyes widened and she furrowed her brow in shocked disbelief. She paused, repeating the last word back to the minister, "Obey?" The whole congregation starting howling laughing. I know in our culture today, this is interpreted as a domineering, out-dated marital notion. However, I believe that your willingness to "obey" your husband reflects a lot about the unity of your marriage. Before you get offended...please follow. If the husband truly loves his wife as Christ loves the church, he is going to do what is in her best interest. From this place of unconditional love and sacrifice, it is easy to"obey" because you are of like mind and spirit. Now don't get me wrong. I believe that each decision should be discussed openly by husband and wife. My point is, if God is leading your husband in a direction on a decision and unity is present, it should be easy to follow. If you have had a father or past relationship in which the male abused his role of leader, there is a wound where trust should be. Ask God to heal that wound. Know that God can be trusted. He is a good God. He loves you, protects you and provides for you.

We should desire our earthly marriage to reflect the heavenly union of Christ to the Bride (His church). Think about the spiritual phases of maturation you go through as Christians. The same verse can elicit a different response depending on your walk with Him. Let's look at the verse , John 14:15: "If you love Me, you will obey what I command." Some will read this verse and think that God just wants to control your life, and that Christianity is nothing more than a set of rules. If you read it this way, you do not see God as a loving Father, but as distant and impersonal dictator. Your relationship with God will be one marked by religion/striving which will breed condemnation. Or perhaps you will resist and rebel. Either way, you will experience frustration and a "spiritual standstill." You must receive a revalatory knowledge of breakthrough truth before you can continue on. Further into your walk, you may read this verse and think, I don't understand, and my will is different, but I love You and choose to obey anyway. At this point in your walk, you trust God as your Lord and Savior. The dance may be formal, but trust is beginninig to emerge. However, in the most beautiful depth of the Christian walk, you read this verse and your desires and His desires become one. As the Bride of Christ, God desires His people to read the verse, "If you love Me, you will obey what I command" with the tacit but tangible words of the Holy Spirit resounding back to you..."because I love you." God asks us to obey Him because He loves us. It is for our best interests and for His glory.

♥If your husband is stepping in beat with the rhythm of the Holy Spirit, as you follow, you will truly be swept off your feet!♥


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