Thursday, April 14, 2011

Preserving the Sanctity of Marriage

I said my vows the first and last time on January 10, 2009. I love my husband with all my heart, and I know that it will last because Christ is the glue that holds it together. In today's society, emotions hold more importance than commitments. Everywhere you turn, decisions are justified not by fact, but by feeling. The trouble with this overly indulgent stance is that feelings are transitory and change with each passing day. Couples that vow "for better or for worse" really mean "for better or for better." It is only during the tough times that the strength of the commitment is tested. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." The Holy Spirit should be the third strand in the knot of marriage. Ironically, many couples believe that a "trial marriage" can be simulated through cohabitation. However, as in most cases, the man and the woman have conflicting goals for the arrangement. The woman believes this will be a motivating factor that will inevitably lead to a ring on her finger. He is being "conditioned" for the next phase of commitment. To the man, he is already receiving all the perks that come with marriage minus the responsibility. For him, there is no motivation to get married. On the other hand, there are plenty of cohabitating couples that make it to the alter. According to Bride's Magazine, 65 percent of couples live together before they get married. Unfortunately, the story does not always end happily ever after. The Boston Herald observes that research indicates that people who live together prior to getting married are more likely to have marriages that end in divorce. The tragic flaw of cohabitation is that it has a built-in escape hatch. Couples who cohabitate have one foot in the relationship and one foot out from the beginning. It is this soft roll-out of marriage that allows couples to slip right into a divorce. An increasingly popular theme for filed divorces is "irreconcilable differences." In this type of divorce, no one is at fault or to blame. Reasons sited could be anything ranging from "personality differences" to "irreversible antogonistic feelings." There's that emphasis on feelings again... In effort to be politically correct and tolerant, the truth is expertly concealed and dressed up in legal jargon. It would be much more difficult to sign a paper that said, "broken commitment to God and to each other just because you didn't feel like being married anymore." At the end of the day, love and commitment will keep a marriage together. Each spouse must understand that when reciting marriage vows, God is in the audience. It is not just an utterance soon to be forgotten. It is a daily vow made again and again when wrapped around sanctity and determination.


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