Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Surrender Your Spouse

Surrendering your spouse to the Lord is one of the toughest acts of obedience, but it also comes with a big reward. When we enter into our personal relationship with Jesus Christ, He asks us to surrender our life completely to Him. This means laying down our agendas, crucifying our fleshly desires, and embracing the freedom of resurrection power in our life.

I have learned that areas in which we try to control our spouse echo strongholds in our relationship with Christ. We may pray and sing "I surrender all," but when it comes to the test of obedience, we can see clearly the hidden stumbling blocks to experiencing true freedom in our lives.

This past week has been especially taxing as my husband has worked well over 80 hours. My natural reaction is to be frustrated and emotionally drained. Quality time is one of my number one love languages, and it is hard on my heart to not be with him as much as I would like to. I had to surrender my ideals and expectations at foot of the cross. My flesh wants so badly to text him, "When are you coming home?" I know that he is working hard and doing what he has to do to support us. I have to remember that this will just ultimately cause more stress on him, which is the last thing I want to do. When I surrendered my emotional disappointment and ultimately my husband to God, I felt a peace replace the resistance I was feeling. Oftentimes, when we are feeling pressure, it is because God is asking us to give Him our burden. It is for our benefit and His glory.

If we are not surrendered to the divine order that God has established in marriage, this will inevitably cause undo pain and frustration. As women, we constantly want to know the next step or where something is going. However, we are to wait for the husband to lead. As much as we would love for our control issues to be viewed as just a part of our personality or even an endearing idosyncrasy, we must at some point face the truth. Control issues are at its root, a form of idolatry. We are trying to assume a role we were never meant to. Eve had the same struggle...

God's plan and divine order is always best. He created the husband and the wife to work together as one. If we are experiencing pain, we can be sure that something is out of alignment. Just as a chiropractor will adjust our bodies in order to achieve optimal physical functioning, God will lovingly correct us if we do not line up with His plan. Stormie Ormartian, author of The Power of a Praying Wife, said it best:

"Part of making a house a home is allowing your husband to be the head so you can be the heart. Trying to be both is too much." (pg. 38)

Wow, is that not the truth? If we, as wives will just concentrate on our role and seek to be a Proverbs 31 wife, the pressure is off! God has a plan for your husband. You can pray for him, but you can't control him EVEN when your intentions are good. God showed me this revelation this past week. My husband, Adam is so determined and so hard-working that he sometimes will work straight through lunch! I have been texting him to not forget to eat, and became worried because he was neglecting basic needs. God told me to just make sure he had his lunch every day, and it was up to him to eat it! Sometimes we, as women will take on unnecessary stress because of our nurturing nature. I learned that even our caretaking has to at some point be surrendered to God.

"Lord, I surrender my husband to You. He belongs to you; he is Your creation. Thank-you that you have placed me beside a mighty man of God who loves You and serves You daily. Help me to embrace my God given role as wife and not add or subtract from it because Your plan is perfect. I know that I am called to be the heart of the relationship, and will refuse to live in condemnation when the enemy tries to tell me that I should be more. I will wait on You to change me from glory to glory. You are the one who changes my husband, not me. I give you all authority and all power to lead him into his destiny. Thank you that as I surrender to your plan, it allows you to demonstrate your resurrection power in our marriage. AMEN!"


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