Thursday, May 5, 2011

Restoration in Marriage

Many of us view restoration of marriage as a rigid entirety...meaning restoration is only necessary if you are separated or divorced. However, I believe that all of us want a more perfect marriage. Maybe certain areas of your marriage are strong and thriving, while others are weak or need renewal.

Restoration has many meanings and connotations. It means "retribution of something taken away or lost." Applying this to marriage, what areas do you pray will be restored? First, I think it is important to breakdown marriage into its operative functions in order to properly assess areas that need attention:

1) Spiritual Needs- prayer, fellowship and devotion, unity in maturation, growth in gifts and ministry

2) Security Needs- financial and physical well-being, stability, safety, fidelity

3) Emotional Needs- affection, quality time and conversation, nurturing of passion

4) Validation Needs- respect, value, approval, admiration, and adoration (could be a subset of emotional needs, but I believe it merits its own category)

5) Destination Needs- supporting one another in fullfilling purpose, developing gifts, talents, intellectually, socially, visions, and dreams

I like to visualize each of these areas as cups. Which one is overflowing? Which one is leaking? Which one is half-way full or even empty? Obviously, each area needs continual attention and continual re-filling. If you look at the words "re-storation," "re-newal," and "re-filling", they all have the prefix of "re." This has an important implication for marriage. The prefix "re" is like a synonym for "again." That is why we want to hear "I love you" again and again and again. Each day requires renewal and restoration of the original intent and spirit that was cherished on our wedding day. Ask the Lord which areas of your life need a special restoration or re-filling of the Holy Spirit to be made new again.

May we empty ourselves out each day as vessels to contain restoration in our marriage.


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