Letting Him Lead

"Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner." ~Amy Bloom

Just like a dance, God designed marriage for one person to lead and the other to follow. Although this subject stirs controversy and confusion in many, God's plan is still best! Invite the Holy Spirit to be the music that determines each step you take in your marriage. If God is leading your husband, you can trust your husband to lead you. Pray that your husband will be sensitive to the Holy Spirit's direction, and step into the heartbeat of heaven.

For a little over a year, I have been praying for my husband about some decisions he was facing. During this past season we have faced some stagnancy and needed breakthrough in different areas. I would pray to God for hours and then one day I felt God say, "Let him lead!." (Funny thing is I never expected to hear this!) Sometimes I pray fervently, but forget to listen to the answer. I realized that my stubbornness and tendency to control were part of the problem. God had been leading Adam in a different direction and I had been stepping on his feet! God placed me with an amazing Christian man who has a vision for our lives. Adam hears God's voice. I think a lot of times a wife will cry out to the Lord for a spiritual leader, but cannot recognize that she already has one. We have to be willing to follow. Now my prayer is that God will make me the wife that I need to be for Adam. It is so important to pray the will of God. Not from a place of emotion, though emotion may follow. As soon as I let him lead, we began to see breakthrough and acceleration. The most effective prayers come from a place of spiritual surrender. And the most beautiful dances flow from seamless unity.

If you have troubles letting your husband lead, ask God to show you the root of the problem. I remember watching America's Funniest Home Videos when I was little. The one that stuck out in my mind the most was this couple at the altar on their marriage day. The wife was reciting her vows line by line. The minister got to the part, "Do you promise to love, honor, and obey?" The bride's eyes widened and she furrowed her brow in shocked disbelief. She paused, repeating the last word back to the minister, "Obey?" The whole congregation starting howling laughing. I know in our culture today, this is interpreted as a domineering, out-dated marital notion. However, I believe that your willingness to "obey" your husband reflects a lot about the unity of your marriage. Before you get offended...please follow. If the husband truly loves his wife as Christ loves the church, he is going to do what is in her best interest. From this place of unconditional love and sacrifice, it is easy to"obey" because you are of like mind and spirit. Now don't get me wrong. I believe that each decision should be discussed openly by husband and wife. My point is, if God is leading your husband in a direction on a decision and unity is present, it should be easy to follow. If you have had a father or past relationship in which the male abused his role of leader, there is a wound where trust should be. Ask God to heal that wound. Know that God can be trusted. He is a good God. He loves you, protects you and provides for you.

We should desire our earthly marriage to reflect the heavenly union of Christ to the Bride (His church). Think about the spiritual phases of maturation you go through as Christians. The same verse can elicit a different response depending on your walk with Him. Let's look at the verse , John 14:15: "If you love Me, you will obey what I command." Some will read this verse and think that God just wants to control your life, and that Christianity is nothing more than a set of rules. If you read it this way, you do not see God as a loving Father, but as distant and impersonal dictator. Your relationship with God will be one marked by religion/striving which will breed condemnation. Or perhaps you will resist and rebel. Either way, you will experience frustration and a "spiritual standstill." You must receive a revalatory knowledge of breakthrough truth before you can continue on. Further into your walk, you may read this verse and think, I don't understand, and my will is different, but I love You and choose to obey anyway. At this point in your walk, you trust God as your Lord and Savior. The dance may be formal, but trust is beginninig to emerge. However, in the most beautiful depth of the Christian walk, you read this verse and your desires and His desires become one. As the Bride of Christ, God desires His people to read the verse, "If you love Me, you will obey what I command" with the tacit but tangible words of the Holy Spirit resounding back to you..."because I love you." God asks us to obey Him because He loves us. It is for our best interests and for His glory.


♥If your husband is stepping in beat with the rhythm of the Holy Spirit, as you follow, you will truly be swept off your feet!♥

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New Life Inside

A couple of days ago the Lord reminded me of the powerful verse, "This is the day which the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it" (Psalm 118:24). I decided to speak this verse out loud the moment I opened my eyes. An amazing thing happened. My heart swelled with joy and I felt a sense of expectancy about the day. The circumstances were not particularly different than the day before. However, my attitude was strikingly different.

I had to remind myself that we have a choice each day to embrace the mercies of God. Lamentations 3:22-23 says, "The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning" (NLT). This morning, I opened up my carton of eggs to make breakfast, and was pleasantly surprised to see Psalm 118:24 printed on the upper lid.

I love how God gives us strategically planted prophetic reminders of His truth. God has new life nestled inside each day for you and your marriage. Perhaps you can only see the outer shell of your spouse's heart. Disappointments, stress, or wounds left untreated can form a hardened exterior around your partner's heart. However, this outer shell is much thinner than you might expect. Determine to crack the shell with relentless unconditional love. Love is inherently patient, so determine to love without time tables. True love does not try to trigger or search for the appropriate response from your partner. This can flow naturally from love, but should not be our goal. Love has no agenda.

The enemy's plan is for you to remain isolated from your spouse. The spirit of offense is architecturally designed to keep an external shell of separation around the new life that God has promised for your marriage. Even when emotions shout otherwise, remember God has strategically placed you by your partner's side to actively shatter those walls. If you allow Him, God will do the same work in you that He wants to do in your spouse. Ezekiel 36:26 says, "And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart." Just as you must choose to rejoice in each day that you are given, you must resolve to choose to love your spouse each day. You cannot do it alone. Ask God to help you to be tender and responsive to your spouse's needs. Beneath the surface, there is a new life filled with greater intimacy.



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Sealing up the Cracks

Yesterday, I mentioned to Adam that our bathtub cauking was eroding. This particular bathroom is upstairs and I was concerned that some water could seep through and corrode the sheet rock and the ceiling below. After work, Adam and I headed to the Home Depot to get the needed supplies. I was amazed at the selection. There must have been about twenty different brands of caulking! He also picked up some fresh knife blades to scrape away the old caulking.

I felt in my spirit that God was highlighting a parallel in the supernatural. This is exactly how the enemy intends to infiltrate Christian marriages. A wide open door of entry would be much too obvious. Instead, the enemy must strategically weaken boundaries over time to gain access. Decay is a gradual process, but the results are the same. The internal structure of a relationship will eventually crumble if left ignored.

One important caulking tip is to completely eliminate the old layer before applying a new one. This is an important step in the operation because if you apply new caulking over the old, it will not last very long. In fact, mold will grow back very fast. Many times, spouses will have arguments and make up, but the underlying issues have not been uncovered. Emotional wounds have "memories," and until forgiveness is freely given, complete healing cannot manifest.

The enemy will also use external forces to chip away at the strength of the marriage bond. Massive amounts of stress and pressure can consume a spouse's schedule. This in turn will reduce the quality time that is so needed to build a successful, intimate marriage. Both partners need to make a conscious effort to establish boundaries and protect time together. Priorities are so important for maintaining a healthy balance. If you do not plan your schedule, and set aside time for each other, your schedule will be planned for you. This is a subtle tactic of the enemy. When both spouses are exhausted, it is easy for the enemy to sneak in. Just as you would schedule a dental appointment, schedule time with your spouse together and make sure that nothing interferes with it.

Ask God to show you the weak points of entry in your marriage. The enemy wants to keep them hidden from your sight, so that you will continue to experience stress, strife, and division. God imparts wisdom to those who ask for it. Through His wisdom, He will give you an eternal perspective to prioritize your day from moment to moment.

Psalm 90:12 says, "So teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." (NKJV)

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Overcoming Undeserving

There are so many times in which I simply feel undeserving of love. I have a tendency to be overly sensitive and even self-centered at times. I am also fiercely idealistic, which can result in unrealistic expectations.

Thank goodness, love IS underserving. There is powerful truth in the Swedish proverb, "Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it." I feel most loved when Adam loves me in spite of my behavior not because of my behavior. In my weaknesses, in my shortcomings, and in my insecurities, Adam continues to love me faithfully. In the presence of love, walls crumble and fear evaporates. One of my favorite verses is I John 4:18, There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love."

If you ask yourself, "What is your greatest fear?" At its very roots, it is most likely that  you fear that you are "unworthy" or "unlovable." Many times the enemy will try to hold me in the shadows of guilt and condemnation or highlight my weaknesses. He accuses me of being "wretched." But, the best thing I can do is agree with him and say YES! I am wretched, but Christ loves me anyways. The startling contrast between our sin and God's holiness makes love powerful!

The lyrics of "Amazing Grace" are so precious to me:

♪Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me....
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see.♪

♪T'was Grace that taught...
my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear...
the hour I first believed.♪

♪Through many dangers, toils and snares...
we have already come.
T'was Grace that brought us safe thus far...
and Grace will lead us home.♪

♪The Lord has promised good to me...
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be...
as long as life endures.♪

♪When we've been here ten thousand years...
bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise...
then when we've first begun.♪

♫Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me....
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see.♫

Marriage Manna~Always remember, that it is better to love than to be "right!"~

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Jubilee

My emailed word of the day is "jubilee." A jubilee means 1. A special anniversary or an event, especially a 50th anniversary (golden anniversary) 2. Rejoicing or celebration

The etymology of the word is Greek, from the Hebrew "yobel," which is a ram's horn trumpet. Traditionally, a jubilee year was announced by blowing a ram's horn. This instrument is used as a prophetic tool to make a divine announcement in the earthly realm. For the believer, the blast of the ram's horn (also known as a shofar) represents the shout of victory over the power of sin and death.

Verses 8-25 of Leviticus describe the year of jubilee.Verses 8-10 read as follows:

8 'And you shall count seven sabbaths of years for yourself, seven times seven years; and the time of the seven sabbaths of years shall be to you forty-nine years. 9 'Then you shall cause the trumpet of the Jubilee to sound on the tenth day of the seventh month; on the Day of Atonement you shall make the trumpet to sound throughout all your land. 10 'And you shall consecrate the fiftieth year, and proclaim liberty throughout all the land to its inhabitants. It shall be a Jubilee for you; and each of you shall return to his possession, and each of you shall return to his family."

On the Day of Atonement, two miraculous things happened. All Hebrew slaves were set free, and all land was returned to the original owner or owner's family. This is significant because for more than 80 years before the Exodus, Israelites were bound by slavery in Egypt without freedom and without posessions. Once they crossed over into the land of Canaan, Joshua divided the land among the tribes and their families. This land became a permanent posession that could never depart from the family. If a man became poor, he could sell part of his land temporarily, but it would always revert to him or his descendants in the year of jubilee.

I love how the Old Testament perfectly parallels with the new Testament. Every symbol and sacrament is divinely inspired to underscore God's amazing love for us. Christ died on the cross not to temporarily free us, but to permanently free us. If you are a Christian who still feels bound or captive by the law of condemnation, it is because you have not fully understood that your identity is in Christ alone. The law of condemnation binds us to the slavery of performance. Once you know your identity is fully in Christ Jesus, you can claim your rightful inheritance.

I believe many marriages suffer from a lack of joy and peace because one or both partners are bound by a spirit of condemnation. Your identity is not in what you do, but in who you are through Him. If you or your spouse simply does not feel "good enough," then you cannot fully receive love. Love is the seed that brings forth every desired fruit of the Spirit. Romans 8:1 says, "There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit."

God's perfect atonement through His son Jesus Christ delivers us from indwelling sin. Biblically, the number 50 means jubilee, rest, and deliverance. At the 70th jubilee there were 50 days between the resurrection of Jesus and the glorious manifestation on the day of Penecost. Ask yourself if there is a gap between the promise and the possession. Perhaps you believe in the promises of the Bible, but you aren't experiencing the manifestation in your life or marriage. What fills the gap between the promise and the possession is faith! Ask God to give you a holy expectation, based solely on the finshed work of the cross.

If you long for freedom, rest, and deliverance in your marriage, blow the ram's horn! Declare God's goodness through declarations, sacrificial praise, and thanksgiving in advance and wait on the Lord for His glory and power to manifest.

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Happy Leap Year!

I believe in 2012, God wants us to LEAP! This is an appointed season for kingdom acceleration and multiplication. My prayer is that you and your spouse will...

leap for the joy of your salvation...

Psalm 28:7 says, "The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to Him in song." (NIV)

take a leap of faith, and conquer the enemy...

Psalm 18:29 says "For by You I can run upon a troop; And by my God I can leap over a wall." (NASB)

embrace total healing by leaping with praise to God...

Acts 3:8 says, "With a leap he stood upright and began to walk; and he entered the temple with them, walking and leaping and praising God." (NASB)

and refuse to allow anything to hinder your walk in the Spirit...

Isaiah 35:6, "Then will the lame leap like a deer, and the mute tongue shout for joy. Water will gush forth in the wilderness and streams in the desert." (NIV)

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Five Principles for Effective Communication

I can never learn enough about communication in marriage. Obviously, the enemy tries to guard communication in marriage with a spirit of confusion. But...God is not the author of confusion, but of peace (I Corinthians 14:33). Peace paves the way for greater understanding and intimacy.

The five principles of effective communication were found on www.christianity.com, which has a treasure trove of articles.

1)    The Principle of First Response- The course of a conflict is not determined by the person who initiates, but by the person who responds.

·         When one spouse starts a conversation that is fueled with strife, the other spouse’s natural tendency is to respond defensively in strife. Although you may feel justified in doing so, it is important to remember that the power rests with the responder.

·         Proverbs 15:1: “A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.”

·         By following the principle of first response, you can take a poorly spoken comment and redirect it.

2)    The Principle of Physical Touch- It is difficult to respond offensively when you are tenderly touching your spouse.

·         It is difficult to apply this principle AFTER the argument has begun. However, it is a perfect time when you know you are about to sit down and engage in a conversation that may cause tension

·         You know what topics are hot buttons. These topics need to be discussed, but in the right setting.

3)    The Principle of Proper Timing-The success of a conversation can be maximized if the timing of the conversation is carefully chosen.

·         Proverbs 15:23 says, “A man has joy by the answer of his mouth. And a word spoken in due season, how good it is!”

·         Discuss times that are good for serious talks and be conscientious of times that are not appropriate

4)    The Principle of Mirroring- Understanding can be enhanced if we measure it often through conversation.

·        Repeat back what you believe your spouse’s intent was.

·        Let your spouse clarify what was meant

·        Proverbs 22:17 says, “Incline your ear and hear the words of the wise, And apply your heart to my knowledge.”

5)    The Principle of Prayer- Success in communication is more likely when we invite the Holy Spirit to help us and guide us.

·         A recent study has shown that in marriages where couples pray out loud with each other, the divorce rate is less than 1 percent

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Defending Marriage

Marriage is sacred institution defined by God. The origins of marriage can be traced back to Genesis.

Genesis 2:22-24 says, 22 Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. 23 And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh.” 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.’

This passage is echoed in the New Testament to illuminate the definition of Christian marriage.

Matthew 19:4-6 says, And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ 5 “and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 “So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

We learn from the Bible that marriage is expressly defined as male joining female. From this exclusive definition, we also understand what it is not.  Although culture has attempted to redefine marriage to include homosexual unions, this is not Biblical. The sacred cannot be re-defined. It is set apart and consecrated by the LORD.

It is our responsibility as Christian citizens to uphold the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), which does not recognize same-sex marriages at a federal level.  DOMA is currently under attack by the President, in Congress, and in courts.

Senator Feinstein has proposed a DOMA repeal bill that, if enacted, would remove the only federal law that protects the rights of states to marriage as the union of husband and wife.

Every voice is important in this crucial spiritual battle that has emerged in our nation. Please take action today. Follow the link below to sign a petition to oppose Senator Feinstein’s bill to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act.

http://www.defenddoma.com/

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The Power of a Praying Wife- A MUST READ

One of the first marriage books I read was The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian. Apparently, there is another one out called The Power of a Praying Husband  ♥ (I will have to tell Adam). ♥

Stormie's testimony is so powerful. She effectively demonstrates that submission is not weakness, but rather your greatest strength as a wife. It's not about controlling your husband, but about surrendering and laying down your agenda.

She conveys if you will allow God to change YOU first, He will also flow through your husband, your marriage, and circumstances through Spirit-filled prayers.

She cried out to the Lord from the center of her brokenness and prayed this, "God I can't live this way anymore. I know what You've said about divorce, but I can't live in the same house with him. Help me, Lord."

God not only helped her, he transformed her into a Proverbs 31 wife. Her overcoming testimony of total marriage restoration has become an inspiration to women all around the world.

To read chapter one of The Power of a Praying Wife, click here.

Take a peak at the chapter titles in this book:

Chapter 1: His Wife

Chapter 2: His Work

Chapter 3: His Finances

Chapter 4: His Sexuality

Chapter 5: His Affection

Chapter 6: His Temptations

Chapter 7: His Mind

Chapter 8: His Fears

Chapter 9: His Purpose

Chapter 10: His Choices

Chapter 11: His Health

Chapter 12: His Protection

Chapter 13: His Trials

Chapter 14: His Integrity

Chapter 15: His Reputation

Chapter 16: His Priorities

Chapter 17: His Relationships

Chapter 18: His Fatherhood

Chapter 19: His Past

Chapter 20: His Attitude

Chapter 21: His Marriage

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From Chaos to Creation

Emotional wounding in one or both spouses can create an atmosphere of darkness, confusion, and despair. It is the enemy's strong desire and plan for you to feel swallowed up by emptiness, until your delusion gives way to division. If you passively withdraw and wait for the painful rawness to heal, you might be probing through the darkness for a long time.

God created us in the likeness of His own image (see Genesis 1:27). We must speak into the darkness with the light of our words. Every word we speak has prophetic implication and power. You must speak love, life, and restoration to your marriage even in the midst of your confusion. Resist the temptation to be led by your emotions. Jeremiah 17:9 says, "The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked; Who can know it?" (NKJV).

Maybe you have felt depression and despair for so long that you believe it is normal. Perhaps your spouse and you are separated or just simply exist together without the depth of a meaningful relationship. Your words are not bound by geographical location. You can prophesy healing and blessing over your spouse even if he/she is not in the same room or house with you.

When you speak life-infused words out loud, there is an illumination of truth and darkness must separate from the light. In Genesis 1:3 says, "Then God said, "Let there be light"; and there was light." (NKJV). From this place of heavenly perspective, a divine alignment must manifest.

From this place of truth, there must be a separation of soul and spirit. Ask God to help you distinguish the flow of emotions from the flow of Living Water. Genesis 1:7 says, "Thus God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament; and it was so." Many of our emotions can be deceitful because they flow from bitterness and resentment. In contrast, the river of the Spirit brings cleansing, the sweetness of life, and clarity. Through Spirit-led communication with your spouse, you can float above drowning emotions.

From this place of clarity, a new ground of intimacy will emerge. Genesis 1:9 says, "Then God said, 'Let the waters under the heavens be gathered together into one place, and let the dry land appear'; and it was so." From this place of healing, your relationship will gain new stability and reaffirmed commitment. It will be a new territory that your spouse and you can begin to walk out together in unity.

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From Provision to Prosperity

As Christians, many truths, freedoms, and blessings must be tapped into "backwards" or "upside down" from the world's system.

John 3:5 says, "Jesus answered and said to him, "Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God." (NKJV)

When you are born into the world, you see things from an earthly point of view, but when you are born of the Spirit, you see things from a heavenly vantage point. The Israelites roamed aimlessly in the desert for 40 years because they were still bound by the mindset of slavery. God rained down manna from heaven to lovingly sustain them in the midst of their suffering. However, God wanted to lead them out from "just enough" into a place of "more than enough."

As Christians, God will miraculously supply our needs according to His riches and glory (see Philippians 4:19). However, He wants you to desire a blessing more than a miracle. A miracle is confined to a moment in which the natural and supernatural are suddenly reversed. A blessing is a perpetual state that flows from the blood of the new covenant in which the natural and the supernatural are permanently reversed.

The world teaches you to find your vision within the confines of provision. This is why so many marriages feel "enslaved" to the dollar. However, God's kingdom is just the opposite. Matthew 6:33 says, "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." (NKJV) Seek the vision that God has for you first, and He will provide all the provision for the vision.

If we spend our time, talents, abilities, and giftings chasing a paycheck then we create a wilderness in our lives. True success comes from the fullfillment of purpose. Ask God what you are created to do and you will enter the "land flowing with milk and honey." God's economy never suffers from recession. There is no crisis is in the kingdom. Ask God to lead you and your spouse from provision into prosperity.

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It's The Little Things

"In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love." ~Mother Teresa

When you are consciously in tune with your spouse, you can catch on to "little things" that matter. Ordinary gestures transform to extraordinary when they originate from the heart.

Almost every night, I wake up in the middle of the night thirsty. Noticing this, without having been asked, Adam sets a tall glass of iced water on the bathroom counter for me before I go to sleep. Every time I see it there, I feel my heart swell with love. 

There are countless other little things that he does for me faithfully. All of them add up to make a big difference. From taking the trash out every week early in the morning, to giving me a hug first thing when he walks in the door from work. Instead of having to wake up to the jarring sound of an alarm clock, he calls me on the way to work every day. During this phone conversation, he speaks forth declarations that God puts in his heart so that we can start each day in unity and with the right attitude.

Luke 16:10 says, "If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won't be honest with greater responsibilities." (NLT, emphasis mine)

We all desire greatness, but we must remember that mansions are laid one brick at a time. This is not only true for marriage, but also careers, dreams, and ministries. As you allow God to sanctify you, He will build new life in you that will remain.

Psalm 127:1 says, "Unless the LORD builds the house, They labor in vain who build it; Unless the LORD guards the city, The watchman stays awake in vain." (NKJV)

Let the Lord build your marriage as you allow His love to flow through you. Anything done from performance, strife, or obligation will eventually topple and crumble. Allow God to heal the foundations of your marriage, and do the seemingly little things with great joy. You never know the great impact they may have on your spouse.

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30 Days in Review

This past Saturday concluded our 30-day trial separation from television. The Lord has really blessed this small sacrifice. We felt that God was leading us into a new direction, and we needed to eliminate all distractions during this time so we could hear from Him clearly.

God has not only given us direction, but also strategies for this season. We have a new sense of clarity that we did not have previously. I believe He also wanted to break us out of the cycle of routine. As humans, we often desire change and yet resist it at the same time.

I really believe that any sacrifice that God leads you to do is really no sacrifice at all. God is always good. He wants to give you the desires of your heart, but you have to lean in close to hear His! A time of fasting should never be from a spirit of obligation, but from an overflow of your love for Him.

I want to thank Priest Russ for drawing our focus to the season of Lent. As we enter into Lent, ask the Lord what He would have you sacrifice this next 40 days. I encourage you to join your spouse in whatever this may be to emphasize spiritual unity and commitment. Please keep in mind these overarching truths as you consider doing this:

• Draw upon the Lord's strength, not your own
• Enter into the season with a humble, contrite heart
• Ask God to reveal sins of commission and sins of omission
• Meditate and reflect upon the mysteries found in His Word
• Invite the spirit of reconciliation to come forth
• Ask God to shape you into what He wants you to be
• Shift your focus towards serving your community
• Anticipate the power of the resurrection in your life

God's cleansing fire will bring forth renewed passion in your Christian walk that will spill over into the alter of your marriage.

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Clearing the Clutter

"Eliminate physical clutter. More importantly, eliminate spiritual clutter." ~ D. H. Mondfleur


I have noticed that the enemy's schemes are sometimes so subtle that we often do not even recognize them. I have also observed that the more mature you become in Christ, the more subtle the tactics seem to be. When your "blinders" are on before you become a Christian, the devil can operate through blatant deception.

However, as you grow in your walk with the Lord, the enemy moves from rude to shrewd. Distraction seems to be the tool of choice, especially in American culture.

Many people think that if they do not feel pressured and exhausted all the time, then they are simply just not doing enough. If you are feeling spiritually, emotionally, and physically drained, this is an indicator that you need to clear some clutter out of your life.

John 10:10 says, "The thief does not come except to kill, steal, and destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." (NKJV)

The word "life" in this verse is derived from the Greek word "zoe." It means "life in the absolute sense, life as God has it" (Vine's Expository Dictionary). Zoe is a heavenly form of life that Christians can experience as we surrender to Him. It is a life characterized by a supernatural peace and tranquility of the soul. As you enter into this place of overabundance, joy, healing, prosperity, and victory spring forth.

The zoe life is one that is marked by grace, not strife. When you enter into a spirit of strife, you experience frustration, aggrevation, and anxiety. The enemy operates in reverse. He wants you to believe you must enter into works to reach Jesus. In fact, it is just the other way around. Simplify your life until you can see Jesus clearly. All good works should flow from your relationship with Him.

I am reminded of  the Bible verse Mark 2:4, "And when they could not come near Him because of the crowd, they uncovered the roof where He was. So when they had broken through, they let down the bed on which the paralytic was lying."

Sometimes we allow a "crowd of clutter" to come between our relationship with Jesus. Even our good works can create a distance between us and Him if they do not originate from Jesus. You must "uncover the roof" and see things from a heavenly viewpoint where new life springs forth from intimacy. From this heavenly stance, we can receive new revelation which is the key to breakthrough (notice the phrase in the verse, "so when they had broken through"). This break-through revelation will unlock resurrecting power which will allow us to walk with Him. Once the spirit of strife and condemnation is shattered, you will be free from spiritual paralysis.

Ask the Lord to illuminate your spirit to the things that fill your life that are not from Him. If He didn't ask you to do them, then they will only serve as a distraction between you and your destiny. Remember, anything you do from you own righteousness is nothing more than a filthy rag (Isaiah 64:6). Only that which springs from His righteousness and His kingdom will stand forever (Daniel 2:44).  





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God Will Make a Way

Today when I talked to my husband on his lunch break, we learned that both of us were having "one of those days." We both have a lot on our schedule today, and nothing seemed to go as planned. To top it off, I came down with a terrible case of "writer's block."

On days like these, when I feel less than creative, I go for a jog to clear my head. On my way to the jogging trail, I noticed a new large sign impaled in the dirt next to the cul de sac. Since my vision is less than 20/20, I had to get right up to it to read it. In large red letters, it said, "No parking. Unauthorized vehicles will be towed at the owner's expense."

I put my hands on my hips and let out an audible sigh of frustration.

Since we live in a townhouse subdivision, our parking is close to non-existent. In a couple of weeks, I am having a get-together at my house for about 10-20 guests. My plan of course, was to have the guests park in the cul de sac. I embarked my jog with my less than pleasant attitude, and felt God say, "That's prophetic" (meaning the sign itself was a sign).

The enemy sets "traps" for us to feel blockaded and restricted. When our plans do not proceed as planned, we feel disappointed or even defeated. The spirit of the law tells us it is all up to you, and what will you possibly do now?

But God doesn't want us to stop there. In fact, His plans for you can begin right where yours end. I started to thank the Lord that He was making a way for me. God is not surprised by road blocks on your journey. You may be, but He isn't. He lovingly allows them to be there, not so you can look down in despair, but so you can look up to heaven.

Luke 21:28 says, "Now when these things begin to happen, look up and lift up your heads, because your redemption draws near." (NKJV)

Prayer for your marriage:
"Dear Father, thank you that you care about the "big" things and the seemingly "little" things, too. I pray that whatever roadblock or hindrance any couple is experiencing right now will be used as a sign that points them to You. You love and care for us more than we can comprehend. You work all things together for our good and for Your glory. I pray forth Your divine problem solving, favor, and grace. I rebuke any spirit that makes people feel confined, pressed in, our closed in. You cannot be limited. Thank-you that you always make a way when there seems to be no way. I thank-you for your boundless love and grace. May each spouse may feel this in a tangible way. Amen."

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Discovering Your Ministry as a Couple

God never ceases to amaze me by the boundless and beautiful plan He has for husbands and wives.  In my own marriage and others, I have witnessed how God pairs one spouse's strengths with another's weaknesses. When operating in perfect unity, spiritual gifts are not only magnified, but synergized. Synergy occurs when the whole is greater than the sum of parts.

One definition of synergy is "the cooperative action of two or more muscles, nerves or the like."

When a husband and wife strengthen their spirtual "muscles" together, the overcoming power that they share in and through Christ is miraculous. Where one spouse is strong, the other may be weak, but since they are "one" they are both strong! Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." God united husbands and wives to not only experience love, but to also demonstrate purpose.

The other part of this definition references "nerves." As Christians, we must be extremely sensitive to the Holy Spirit. A husband and wife may both be sensitive to the Spirit, but each may manifest this sensitivity through different channels. For example, my husband Adam has a gift of discernment and accuracy when encountering different situations and individuals. My spiritual sensitivity operates through encouragement and compassion. Both are needed when we minister to couples. The synergistic effect of our spiritual "nerves" allows us to flow in the gifts at a level that we cannot operate individually.

If you have never taken a spiritual gifts assessment, set aside an hour and take it with your spouse. Click here to find out what your spiritual gifts are. The results are not exclusive or exhaustive. God may give you more or strengthen the ones you have as you walk with Him. We should never limit Him. The purpose is to give you a greater understanding of how you can contribute to God's kingdom.

Consider the unique cooperitive blend of your gifts and your spouse's gifts. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you into what ministry He has consecrated for your marriage. For example, one spouse may be strong in the gifts of giving and administration, whereas the other spouse has a gift of outreach and mercy. Perhaps you may join your gifts to start a fundraising organization that could help more people than you could imagine.

Just as Jesus multiplied the five loaves and two fishes to feed the five thousand (Matthew 14:13-21, Luke 9:16), He will inhabit the union of your spiritual gifts.

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Tips for a Rosy Valentine's Day

Still mulling over what to give your spouse for Valentine's Day? Hopefully, these tips will give cupid a day off.

10 Tips for Husbands
1) It's not how much the present costs, it is the thoughtfulness and creativity behind it.

2) If the picked-over supermarket flowers are half wilted in the store, they will be downright droopy when they get to her. Switch to plan B.

3) If your wife has a busy schedule, an act of service like cleaning the house will smell like roses.

4) Even if you know your wife is on a diet, buy the chocolates anyway.

5) If you forgot to make reservations, you can always cook a romantic dinner at home...don't forget the candles (catering works, too!).

6) If you have a favorite memory of you wife, today is a good day to share it with her.

7) If your wife told you she didn't want you to get anything...ignore her, she still wants something.

8) Some of the bests gifts are homemade. Decorate a shoe box and fill it with photos and love letters.

9) If you are giving her perfume, make sure you know what scent she likes in advance, or check with her family and friends first so you can surprise her.

10)  Dance with your wife even if it is in your living room.

10 Tips for Wives
1) The very best way to reach your husband's heart really is through his stomach.

2) Drop your ideal expectations on what you think your husband should get you for Valentine's Day. Give him a break!

3)List out all the things he does "right" for the other 364 days in the year.

4) Remember, the only flowers men like are edible. Consider bacon roses like the picture above or maybe a candy bar bouquet.

5) Wash his car.

6) Cook him his favorite dinner and favorite dessert. Fight the urge to do the dishes afterwards, and just spend time with him.

7) Make him homemade "tickets" in a card that say "free massage," "free movie night-your choice," etc...

8) Write a funny poem.

9) Remember to focus on what you can give him, not what you can receive from him.

10) Make him a basket filled with his favorite things.

Remember to thank God that He joined the two of you together!

Happy Valentine's Day, Everyone!

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Heavenly Semantics

“But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.” (Luke 12:7, NKJV)

One of the most liberating lessons the Lord has taught me through my husband is not to worry. Each moment of every day contains a unique opportunity in which we can choose to worry or choose to trust. As humans we are endowed with a need to know and a need to understand. Even our brains our wired to “fill in the gaps,” so to speak, in effort to process clarity. Research has shown that people can read words that are jumbled letters if the first and last letters are placed in the correct order.

Try it for yourself:

Arocdnicg to rsceearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pcale. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit pobelrm. Tihs is buseace the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

I began to ponder the different applications of this revelatory insight. As we wake up each day, we already have an idea of how it should end in our minds. When the details in between do not read the way we expected, we experience pronounced disappointment. We subconsciously see details not as isolated incidents devoid of meaning, but as part of a greater whole. The problem of worry emerges when we try to decipher details out of context.

However, God never intended for us to try to figure it all out. Since He is omniscient, He knew that we would anyway, and that this would lead to worry. When I read Luke 12:7, I am lovingly reminded to trust Him with the details.

Revelation 22:13 says, “I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End, the First and the Last.”

In other words, God is the first and last letter. If we do not trust Him to anchor our lives, our existence would be an endless stream of gibberish, with no meaning whatsoever. However, with God even the most tangled messes have sudden meaning and clarity.

God's infinite view is far broader than our finite view.

Psalm 90:4 says, "For a thousand years in Your sight Are like yesterday when it is past, And like a watch in the night."

God has a vision and plan for your lives and marriage, but we must trust Him with the details.

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Love Busters- A "Must Read"

I love studying Dr.Willard F. Harley's insightful epiphanies that emerged from almost 40 years of experience in marriage counseling. I am particularly drawn to witty wisdom that has practical application and leads to lasting change in marriage. He is well-known for his best-selling book, His Needs, Her Needs, and his more recent, Love Busters.

Dr. Harley identified a common thread that united so many couples in their marital isolation and frustration. He says, "Lack of empathy is the core of the problem."

According to wikapedia, "empathy is the capacity to recognize and to some extent, share feelings (such as sadness or happiness) that are being experienced by another sentiment or semi-sentiment being." Harley recognizes that many agree that empathy is a prerequisite to compassion. In order to love whole-heartedly, you have to step outside of your perspective and look at the situation through your spouse's eyes.

Without empathy, we minimize the harmfulness of our thoughtlessness. In most cases, a spouse does not have malicious intentions towards his/her significant others. Nevertheless, the negative result manifests all the same. Dr. Harley calls all the ways that spouses are inconsiderate of each other's feelings as "Love Busters" because that is exactly what they do--destroy the romantic love that a husband and wife share.

I think it is important that I "back up" and clarify that a husband and wife should exhibit unconditional love, which flows from Christ, and is undeserved. Unconditional love is what solidifies the commitment. However, romantic love is differentiated by feelings. In other words, a couple with unconditional love but lacking romantic love may feel unhappy because of unmet needs, yet are still bonded by their commitment.

Dr. Harley identifies six categories of common "Love Busters" in marriage. Click on each link to learn more about these behaviors you will want to consciously avoid in your marriage.

1) Selfish Demands

2) Disrespectful Judgments

3) Angry Outbursts

4) Annoying Habits

5) Independent Behavior

6) Dishonesty

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12 Marriage Blessings for 2012

The Body of Christ has rightly recognized that 2012 is the year of God's divine government. As marriages come into alignment with God's order, many marriages will experience pronounced healing, restoration, purpose, and prosperity. Each manifest blessing is a "right" that flows from our heavenly citizenship (Philippians 3:20) as Christians.

However, just like the Declaration of Independence was written to secure and protect these rights, We The People of the Body of Christ, must likewise unite and speak forth declarations in the earth that already exist in heaven. Our founding fathers wrote the Declaration of Independence because of four main purposes:

1) Getting reluctant colonists on board
2) Explaining the colonists' position on the purpose of government
3) Listing colonists' grievances against King George III to show the legitimacy of their actions to others
4) To encourage foreign nations to help them

Similarly, the Body of Christ has come to a strategic juncture in prophecy in which we must assemble around four main purposes that profess our Declaration of Dependence on God alone.

1) Get reluctant Christians on board- Christians that have one foot in the world's kingdom and the other foot in God's kingdom will be recruited by an outpouring of the Holy Spirit. Many eyes will be opened to the infinite importance of the cause of Christ, and will respond to love's relentless pursuit. Also, many unbelievers will come to know Christ as KING of kings and LORD of lords. Evangelists equipped with the spiritual gifts of encouragement and exhortation will be used by God to accomplish this purpose. (Joel 3:14)

2) Explaining Christian's position on the purpose of God's divine government- Anointed leaders in the church will carry the Spirit of wisdom and understanding in order to articulate the purpose of establishing God's government in the earth. Many eyes will be opened to the truth that God's government does not operate under the law (which brings condemnation) but under grace (which brings liberty). This clarity of confusion will release a Spirit of peace as individuals realize that God's government is not only for His glory, but for their ultimate good. Many denominational walls will crumble suddenly just as they did with Joshua and the battle of Jericho. This will come to pass as individuals respond to God's commands in obedience even when they don't make sense. God will choose those that feel unqualified, but are full of faith so that all will know that it is God who gave the victory. Pastors and teachers will work together to rally others around this purpose.(See Isaiah 11:1-2, Romans 8:1, Galatians 5:1, Hebrews 11:30)

3) Listing Christian's grievances against the king of darkness- Christians will rise up to delineate relationship from religion. The church will separate from a spirit of religion which is marked by obligation, suppression, and oppression. Christians will desire to only be defined by a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Relationship will be expressly characterized by intimacy which flows from love and choice. The yoke of slavery and bondage will be broken off so that light of God's promises can manifest in His people. The face of offense and division will dissolve in the presence of love. Watchmen and prophets will operate together with keen discernment to deliver a message whenever they sense religion tainting the purity of relationship. (Ezekiel 3:17, Isaiah 58:6, Acts 7:17-36)

4) To encourage all who have an ear to hear to help- God will quicken many hearts to release needed finances for projects, buildings, and missions that will advance God's kingdom. God will bless and multiply the provision so that it is more than enough. Apostles and those with a gift of administration will be used to facilitate discipline and activate honor and integrity. (Matthew 11:15, I Corinthians 12:28)

It is interesting that I Corinthians 12 reveals the diversity of spiritual gifts which are designed to bring forth unity in the body of Christ. As mentioned before, twelve represents government. I personally believe that the gifts of the Spirit are intentionally assimilated together under chapter 12 for added emphasis that spiritual gifts are given in order to bring forth God's government.

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The blessings of marriage will also be restored as husbands and wives are awakened to God's original design for this sacred institution. Many eyes will be opened to the counterfeit unions that the enemy has erected in order to pervert the sacred. (Isaiah 5:20). The veils of tolerance will be lifted and individuals will be driven to repentance under the saving unction of love and holiness. A righteous clarity will emerge as individuals are awakened to the fact that whenever a sacred institution is redefined by culture, pain and brokenness inevitably follow.

In order to form a more perfect union, husbands and wives will step into position and align with God's government. Healing will manifest as each spouse understands that although there is a disparity in roles, there is an equality in value.

Twelve blessings will supernaturally manifest as each spouse returns to the divine establishment of marriage:

1) The Priestly Blessing- As the wife respects the role of her husband and allows him to guide, lead, and direct, the husband will be awakened to his role as priest of the household. The light of God's face will shine upon their marriage and He will give them peace. (Numbers 6:22-27)

2) The Blessing of Intimacy- As each spouse desires a deeper personal relationship with one another, the spirit of division will be cast out. Defensive walls erected by wounding and fear will crumble in the presence of unconditional love. (I John 4:18)

3) The Blessing of Prosperity- Husbands and wives use their specialized giftings and talents in order to work together as a team. God will multiply what each brings and bless the fruits of their labor. Each spouse will correctly recognize that increase comes from the Lord, and they will flourish from season to season (Psalm 1:1-6).

4) The Blessing of Restored Vision- Many marriages that have suffered from myopia will have restored vision. This unity of vision will give new meaning to daily activities. Couples will understand their purpose in relation to a broader prophetic scale. This will renew their sense of purpose and awaken each individual to their unique value (Proverbs 29:18, Habakkuk 2:2-3).

5) The Blessing of Returned Joy- As husband and wife willingly embrace their God-given roles in marriage, they will no longer feel bound or captive to the world's system and will experience overflowing joy. (Psalm 51:12)

6) The Blessing of Healing- Spouses that have suffered from wounding and broken hearts will come into freedom as they activate the power that is released from forgiveness, unconditional love, and respect. (James 5:16)

7) The Blessing of Purity- As couples ask God to cleanse their marriage and create a new "heart" that is shared between the two of them, wrongful motives will be pulled out at the roots (Psalm 51:10)

8) The Blessing of Unity- Fueled by love, each spouse will seek out their partner's needs above their own. Also, God will answer and honor anointed prayers spoken in unity (Matthew 18:19)

9) The Blessing of Communion- As marriages realize the strength of the three strand cord, and allow the Holy Spirit to direct their steps, each spouse will enter into greater spiritual communion. They will experience the boundless goodness of the Lord. (Ecclesiastes 4:12)

10) The Blessing of Balance- Husbands and wives will begin to understand that as they seek their relationship with God and their relationship with each other above the things of this world, their lives will return to proper balance. Stress, pressure, and anxiety will dissipate. (Matthew 6:33-34)

11) The Blessing of Favor- Each spouse will unlock the shackles of performance, which is governed by the world's system, and call forth God's undeserved/unmerited favor over their lives (Psalm 5:12)

12) The Blessing of Posterity- God will reward marriages that spring from His government with natural and spiritual children that will inherit generational blessings. (Psalm 22:30-31)

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